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[RP] Dartho...(work in progress)

[RP] Dartho...(work in progress)
Sunday 22/02/2009, 08:28
SimonW_UM - Legend English

Urban Rivals | Free Online Manga Trading Card Game | TCG | MMO
147 messages
[RP] Dartho...(work in progress)
SimonW_UM - Legend - URBAN MADNESSEnglish - Sunday 22/02/2009, 08:28

This is a story I am currently working on. For now...here is a preview piece (that is also the beginning). Enjoy!


DARTHO

The night was quite chilly. Tabitha did not notice, even though she was in beggar's rags. She was too frightened to take notice of the cold. She glanced behind her in fear. The stories she heard were true.
Suddenly, Tabitha bumped into a man in a black overcoat with a black top hat and wearing dark grey trousers.
She did not observe his clothing at the time, as she backed away, or tried to. The man had a hold of her shoulders.
"I say, steady on there, Miss!" stated the gentleman, but Tabitha hardly heard him.
She kicked the man in the shins, making him let go of her. Tabitha heard shouting behind her but she kept running. Ducking into a side-alley, Tabitha stopped as she reached a dead end. A shadow loomed over the nine-year-old girl. Turning around, gasping in short but heavy breaths, Tabitha fainted from fright, believing her persuer had caught up with her at last.

(if people like this and want more, please tell me here.)
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SimonW_UM - Legend - URBAN MADNESS English
Saturday 04/04/2009, 23:08

Lol....I take it as both.

No doubt it is not as good as it should be but I blame Microsoft Word for not telling me.
How I speak or write the English language is my own characteristic technique.

Besides that, it is just a work in progress. It is not a finished story that I intend to publish.

So thank you for the constructive criticism (a way of saying you are helping but also insulting me) but I live for my writing and my stories and that is all that matters.
If you do not like the way I have done it, then do not read it.
82/147
SimonW_UM - Legend - URBAN MADNESS English
Friday 10/04/2009

(part 56)

Ben stared at the wild man, wide-eyed in wondering terror. Despite not being particularly dangerous, drunks were known for their unfathomable and irrational fury.
Knowing they were wasting time, as the thing could be following them at any moment, Ben held tight as he veered away from the yelling drunk and ran with Tabitha in tow. The bum’s drunken words echoed after them until it died down in the distance. Making their way down a side street, Ben and Tabitha sat down on the ground to catch their breath. It was a quiet alleyway, the ground felt hard and cold with a slimy substance that neither orphan wanted to have a guess as to what it was.
Within the darkness, it was hard to see yet Tabitha could make out that they were within a small alcove. Leaning back, Tabitha clutched her shoulder; it was starting to hurt again.
Ben was beside her, his hat slightly askew and his grimy red hair poking out underneath it at all sides. Ben was not looking at Tabitha, he had his mind elsewhere. The drunk had not chased them that much was certain to him. He had a serious look upon his face as he stared out across the alleyway to a blank wall. The shadow he saw earlier when Tabitha was saying sorry to him, it was engraved in his mind.

(to be continued...)
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SimonW_UM - Legend - URBAN MADNESS English
Friday 10/04/2009, 10:10

(part 57)

Like a Nightmare he could not escape, the distorted figure that seemed to terrify him. Ben snapped back to reality as Tabitha’s head slumped onto his shoulder. Glancing up, Ben saw the scowling face of a man before he was hit on the head by the man’s wooden cane. Ben lost his sense of sight; he saw everything in blackness and then…nothing.


Tabitha had roused herself awake slowly and her vision was blurry. She knew they were moving, that much was certain to her. As her vision and mind became clearer, Tabitha noticed she was in darkness, possibly a box of some kind. Her feet and hands were tied with coarse rope.
Ben?” she asked softly while still in a daze.
It was then known to Tabitha that Ben was not with her. Feeling scared and frustrated, Tabitha struggled to free her hands and feet by wriggling around in the condensed area. It was no good, the rope was dirty but strong and it only caused Tabitha to lightly bruise her wrists and ankles. Sobbing silently to herself, Tabitha gave up the effort. Bringing her bound hands closer to her chest, Tabitha lightly gripped her crescent moon necklace. It felt cool in her hands, easing her suffering slightly as it had done on other occasions.

(to be continued...)
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SimonW_UM - Legend - URBAN MADNESS English
Friday 10/04/2009, 10:27

( part 58 )

After what appeared like hours but was most likely minutes, Tabitha felt the movement stop, her body slightly rolled to the front of the box. After a moment, Tabitha felt the box being lifted. She would have yelled out but her head still felt slightly woozy. She was not sure she was capable of trying to scream yet. Besides, whomever it was that knocked her and Ben out would probably get mad if she tried to scream.
Feeling helpless as she clutched her crescent-shaped necklace ornament, Tabitha whimpered very slightly and curled up as best she could in the confined space.


Ben felt miserable. He knew where he was and yet he could hardly acknowledge it. It was like a bad dream that was really a reality, a Nightmare that would not end. A place every orphan dreaded to go to…The Workhouse. The sound of cogs turning was ever-present to Ben and they were close, as were the sound of lashing and a cry of agony afterward. Ben was within a small room but there were windows that looked out at the workhouse that oversaw the entire factory. He was in an upright position, his wrists bound behind his back and his ankles tied together by coarse and tight rope.

(to be continued...)
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SimonW_UM - Legend - URBAN MADNESS English
Friday 10/04/2009, 10:33

(part 59)

Glancing up, Ben could see a doorframe ahead of him against the brick wall. The door was closed so Ben could not see anything beyond it but the smell of fresh paint reached his nostrils as he breathed in. The smell was mixed with the smoke fumes that filled the grimy air but it was the fresh paint smell that made Ben feel slightly unwell due to the fact he had never smelt it before. Swallowing hard in his dry throat, Ben managed to overcome this slight unsettlement, since he knew it was the least of his troubles so far.
As Ben was thinking this, he lost the thought as the door in front of him was starting to open. A second later Ben soon saw the person whom had whacked him and Tabitha upon the head. The man was average height and had wiry black hair that was strangely flowing from under his dirty brown top hat to his shoulders. He looked relatively clean, if somewhat grimy as well. His black eyes stared at Ben without pity, his bulbous nose protruding from his face. He was in relative terms fat and had on dapper but wrinkled and slightly worn clothes. His left hand held the wooden cane that he had used to knock Ben and Tabitha out with, his right hand held open the door and he stood in the open doorway for a few seconds. He wore the same sinister scowl that Ben had seen before being knocked out earlier. He appeared to be sizing Ben up for a second before moving out of the doorway and stood mere feet in front of Ben.

(to be continued...)
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SimonW_UM - Legend - URBAN MADNESS English
Friday 10/04/2009, 11:53

(part 60)

“You…are here because under the law you are to work for me. If you do not obey me, you will get a flogging. If you do not work, you will get a flogging. If you attempt to run away, you will get a flogging. Understood?” asked the man sharply in what appeared to be a despicable tone, as if he had uttered these words many times on deaf ears and Ben was but another orphan that would not obey the rules.
Well, that assumption was right. Ben did not pay heed to these warnings, he had gotten worse then floggings in his years on the streets. Wether Ben's silence infuriated him more or not was not sure, the man kept on talking regardless.
“Now, I am the Beagle of this establishment and know every orphan in this workhouse. You are my…guest…and as my…guest…I expect my rules not to be broken. Is that understood, boy?”
Ben did not say anything, he knew better then to answer back to an adult.
The Beagle huffed slightly before he stood upright and turned away from Ben, walking along the metal walkway with his cane banging loudly with each step.



(to be continued...)
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SimonW_UM - Legend - URBAN MADNESS English
Friday 10/04/2009, 12:02

(part 61)

Chapter 9: The Workhouse…

Ben squirmed slightly after the Beagle left. He was resolute to unbind himself from the bonds that started to chaff his wrists. Suddenly another figure came from the shadowed area of the walkway, a pitiful figure of a young girl that Ben guessed was younger then himself.
Don’t struggle, you’ll just make Beagle mad,” said the girl in a soft voice as she remained in the shadowed area of the walkway, probably scared she would get in trouble for being where she was not meant to be.
For a moment Ben stared at the girl with a defiant manner but his gaze softened and he stopped struggling as the girl requested. It wasn’t her fault he was in this situation. If only he and Tabitha…Tabitha! For the first time Ben suddenly felt fearful for his companion. He knew the way of The Workhouse but Tabitha would probably not be able to survive in a place like this. Ben acknowledged the young girl was still watching him wearily, her pale hazel eyes hazed over with exhaustion of work.
“Did you see a new girl around here? One with a moon pendant?” asked Ben eagerly.
For a moment the young girl did not answer then shook her head.
“There were no new orphans today,” she murmured back meekly, her voice almost sad at the hope in Ben’s own voice. “Only you.”
Ben did not reply for there was nothing to be said. He was at least grateful Tabitha was not brought to this place. But not knowing where she was, that was a troubled thought.

(to be continued...)
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SimonW_UM - Legend - URBAN MADNESS English
Friday 10/04/2009, 12:08

(part 62) Does it EVER end???

“Even if she was brought here, they Don’t allow us to keep our belongings,” said the girl with wistful woe, her own left hand unconsciously fiddling with the wrist of her right hand as if something had once been there.
Ben watched the girl in the half-shadows, her pitiful and small frame able to be seen more clearly. She wore a simple potato sack that had two holes for her arms and was also wearing a faded and dirty pair of ragged pants. Her rat-like dirty blonde hair was straight and hanging down near her eyes. Ben felt sorry for her more because she was quite young but he knew the rules of The Workhouse was different then those of the streets, or so one kid told him. But even Ben didn’t know the full extent of The Workhouse, only the rumours from the other orphan beggars of the streets. And now Ben was starting to feel that those rumours were true.
It had been a while since the new boy had spoken out loud. Abigail felt uneasy at the thoughtful expression in the boy’s eyes. She had led her gaze wander from him to the ground in front of her so when he spoke abruptly Abigail gave a slight jump and raised her head back to the boy’s eye level.
“Is the Beagle the only one in charge here?” asked Ben suddenly to the girl and watched the frail creature get startled by his stern voice.
For a moment the girl stood there, looking at him with still weary eyes but opened her mouth to speak.

(to be continued...)
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Ian_WCH - Senior - Working Class Heroes English
Friday 10/04/2009, 12:13

How Many Parts Are These Anyway Simon?
90/147
SimonW_UM - Legend - URBAN MADNESS English
Friday 10/04/2009, 12:58

Last part coming up...cause at a writers block at the moment.
You might call this a full fledge novel. lol..

(part 63) last part...for now.

“N…no,” stuttered Abigail nervously.
She didn’t know why she replied to the boy’s question, maybe because of how he caught her off guard and the way his voice sounded. It sounded like the Beagle’s voice that demanded total obedience. But unlike the Beagle’s voice, there was no harshness in the tone, the boy’s own voice conveyed certain warmth and softness Abigail had never known her entire life.
“The Beagle obeys only one person, as to who or what that is…” continued on Abigail but left the sentence lingering, shyly turning her head away from Ben.
Ben hardly noticed, he knew the girl was probably too frightened to tell him everything but there was apparently a limit to even how much she knew in this terrible place. All he had to hope for was that he could use this to his advantage to help him escape The Workhouse.

(to be continued...I hope)

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