Peter comes very drunk home late at night.
He wakes his sleeping wife: “Emily wake up! You know what just happened!?”
- “No”, she replies sleepily.
- “I went to the toilet and the light switched on all by itself. And when I went out of there, the light switched off again without me having to do anything. I think I’m getting super powers!”
- Emily replies groans: “Oh no, Peter! You pig, you just peed into the fridge again!!!”
New Teacher: All students introduce your name and hobbies
1st boy: My name is Jack and my hobby is watching the moon.
2nd boy: My name is Dave and hobby is watching the moon.
3rd boy: My name is Patrick & my hobby is watching the moon.
(All boys told their different names but the hobby was same)
New Teacher: Good, all boys have the same hobby, Now its girl’s turn.
1st girl: Hi, my name is moon…
Boy: hey babe can I show you something?
Girl: sure babe
Boy: can I show this in your room?
Boy: can we close the window?
Boy: can you close the door?
Girl: okay (grasping)
Boy: can you turn off the lights?
Girl: sure (even grasping)
Boy: grab my hand
Girl: (grab his hand) what is it, babe?
Boy: look at this, my watch can glow in the dark
John: Bro I’ve invited 17 people to watch a movie, would you come?
Bro: ok John, but why so many people?
John: Because the DVD said “Only 18+ viewers.”
Bro: Wait, what?
Boy: (calls 911) Hello, I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what’s your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.
Interviewer: Introduce yourself
Boy: My father’s name is Laughing
Boy: My mother’s name is Smiling
Interviewer: Are you kidding?
Boy: No, he’s my cousin and I’m Joking.
John: Do you have a girlfriend Harry?
Harry: Yes John
John: Nice. Where is she from?
Harry: From a different nation
John: Oh really? Which nation?
Harry: From my imagiNATION.
There you go xD. 100% google.